Ever since I was a little kid, I had to have, "my special place". No one else knew where it was, it was mine alone. It was solitary, letting me think and reflect, and now I have to find a new one. I had two during highschool, the loft in my barn and a part of the roof that wasn't visible to the road or driveway. I could escape and think, but now I'm at a loss.Five acres of flat grass is alot different than ten acres of hills and trees. So I continue to search for somewhere to call my own. ...

Just in case anyone was wondering I did end up apologizing, not for what I said, but for how I said it. Everyone deserves to hear things in a fair way, and I did cross the line. Chalk one up for life experience.

I lost my cool the other day. I'm usually a really laid back guy, slow to anger and to speak, which is why this out burst surprised me. I just found out that I had been lied to. Not in the little way, but in that painful, grasping your stomach choking on words and furiously blinking way. I've been lied to before, call it a family tradition, but this just completely caught me off guard. Thats when the evil Tim popped his head up and let the world know. I'm ashamed that I let my aggression out ...

Thomas Moore wrote once, "No, there's nothing half so sweet in life, As young love's dream." I love this quote, it sums up love for me. Simple, unexpecting love. Innocent love, young love's dream. It is love for the sake of love itself, but how is a person supposed to know what real love is? When does the difference come between the unconditional love that a child gives, and the love that two adults give to one another? My friend Dan and I used to claim that we were, "in like" with girl...

When ever I was to be punished as a child my mother generally handled it, and by handling it, she smacked me to next week and back with a wooden spoon. I'm not mad about this, actually I'm grateful for it. When I got into real trouble, the famous phrase that held so much fear for me was unleashed, "just wait until your father gets home!" gasp! My father was a drill seargent in Korea, not during the Korean war, he's not that old yet. Very laid back most of time, but when he becom...

Ever watch the movie called "love actually"? It may be kind of a "chick-flick" but it's also one of my favorites. There are many different plots all tangled together, and yet seperate, just like we live our lives. My favorite is the best friends part in the story. It's actually a small part, but it's amazing. It starts off at his best friends wedding, where his friend is getting married to Kiera Knightly(lucky bastard). As they kiss and start walking out of the church, from ontop the balcony,...

yeah, so today I have seen my site like never before. I always signed in but typing the whole URL, but today I signed in through just joeuser. I feel ridiculis or course, but I the buttons to delete and edit just weren't there before. Wow, I feel foolish.

Ok, it boils down to this. Nice guys generally don't have killer looks, or aren't in killer shape because they can actually think about something besides improving their image. Pardon my langauge, but fuck finishing last! Isn't it enough that we think about more than two things, those things being ourselves, and wether we're going to "get any" tonight. Chivalry is a lost code, and those who adhere to it are being pushed aside for the "black knights". WTF happened to the knight in shining armo...

Ever gone on a road trip when you relize that you left something important behind. You're too far away to turn around and get it, but you start to miss it when you realize how important it was. I think that when something important is forgotten, it makes our next trip just a little better, because I didn't forget the item this time. I guess it's really easy to miss something that was taken for granted. It's always there, but we never think we'll miss it till we know its too far to turn around...

I was hurt the other day, not cut or bruised, but emotionally hurt. I thought, well big deal, but now its started to affect my physical form. I don't sleep, I barely eat and I feel sick to my stomach all day. I thought I was a stronger person than this. It doesn't matter how fast I run, how hard I work, I just can't escape this sick feeling. I'm ready for it to go, but I know I'll feel this pain alot for a long time. Is there any way to make it go away? To forget everything, without the obvio...

Thanks all for the great advice. She decided that this relationship was not what she needed at this point in her life. I was crushed as I never was before, but I've been through stuff like this before. It was good for me I think. I cried for the first time in 8 years, and it felt really wierd. I also yelled at the world in my car, with no one round to hear, that felt really good actually. I think I realize why some people choose not to date at all. Why there is the saying, "it is better to ha...

Right now I am completely confused, and though I hate admitting this, a little hurt. I just began a relationship with a girl I have been waiting years for, literally. I was so pumped and even though I will not let myself become the overbearing clingy type, I have two weeks before I go back to college. Suffice to say, I want to spend as much time as possible with her. I asked her if she wanted to hang out with my friends and I today, and she wasn't able to, ah well I can understand that. W...

I have found myself sliding along the dangerous road of...."love". I'm head over heals for a girl, and I can be certain of things then not in about five minutes time. Nothing is making sense any more, nothing is working out right. Nothing I can do will ever work to my advantage. I thought we had something, now I lack the guts to find out for sure. I also lack the cash, as my car just presented me with a $700 repair bill. Yeah, can't afford that at all. I'm ready to give up in college too. i k...

It is a desperately difficult situation to share solitude

Romance, dilemma, and somehow I take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one to face them. It's actually funny in a way, the harder I try to fix my problem the worse they become. It's hard for me just to sit back and let everything unfold, but that seems to be the wisest course of actions usually. I don't think there has ever been an exception, even with girls I tended to rush blindly in. Yeah....... I'll let you guess how that went. And I thought I was supposed to have that damned "luc...