How do you tell someone that is genuinely trying to reach out, that you have no interest in them whatsoever. The artificial front that they present to the world, you know is a mask that they hide behind because they confessed it to be so while drunk, all the while I stood trapped, unable to leave or make myself care. I know now how to label it after years and years of hating, and before that fearing the very same markers that identify that personality.     Boisterous, narc...

Dear XXXXXXX   Why is everything so natural when we're together, yet so awkward as soon as the phone touches my ear. I can't read you, see your reactions, can't see you smile through the damned thing. Why can't I hear you smile? Are you excited when you see my name appear, or does a small frown appear on realizing that we are still apart. I hate this feeling, this unknown that looms over everything I do. I often wonder if this is the way, the path we need to be on, or should we separa...

So writing a love letter seems to be a lost art. I do not know anyone who has actually ever written or received a love letter. Failure? Change in society, lack of ability, or faith there in to write. What do you actually say? What goes into a letter that would make a heart jump just looking at it. What to write that someone would cherish until the page it came on became crinkled and worn because it was read so many times. Maybe love, in the classical romantic sense is dead...  Dear XXXXX...

So big conclusion, it's important for me to remember. Need to get this down, I won't forget, even without, I won't forget this.....ever. I had a plan, it was smooth, daring, romantic and classy. I got a nice room with a great view, jacuzzi in the bedroom, brought champaign, even set roses out. It was wonderful, I figured it would work. Dinner at a nice little restaurant, shared desert, even started the evening with a kiss. All according to plan, in a way. I didn't think I'd be willing to put ...

I guess it always comes down to this. Just sitting down and thinking about my past. The people I've loved and lost. It's been a great couple of years, and it's also been pretty rough. I just wonder how much I could have done differently. I've been in college, I've been in love, I've lost my mother (relationship, not death) I've gained something I've been after for 20 years. That one moment choked me up more than anything ever has. My father said he was proud of me, he said he admired ...

Ever run into someone later in life and just think, "wow, the times have sure changed." It happened to me last night. I ran into a girl from highschool that I once had a thing for. I was turned down, which didn't surprise me considering my "social position" in highschool. I wasn't exactly running with the "in crowd", and she was definately running with that crowd. Again it's no surprise, she is a beautiful girl with a wonderful singing voice, not to mention very intelligent. To get back o...

I've been thinking alot lately about all the things that I've gotten myself into. I joined the military knowing that I'm going to the desert and I have that chance of death. I wouldn't have joined if I wasn't ok with that. Now I'm not saying I want to go to Iraq and die, far from it. The US military slogans, among us anyways are, hurry up and wait, and the one that pertains, The point isn't death for your country it's making the other guy die for his. I don't plan on getting hit, but ah ...

I'm in the United States Air Force, and I take my mission very seriously. I love my country, I serve it and I am willing to die for it. I do this because there are people that I couldn't stand to see get hurt. These people I protect, I realize they have different views, different lives and they might even believe what I do for them is wrong, but I still do it because that's my mission. What I can't understand is why you would go up to someone who is trying to protect you and say, "Why don...

Well, I might as well go in order that the title dictates. The good first: I finally got "the call". I get shipped out to basic training on Tuesday. Now some may see this as bad, but I'm estatic. I not only have a career that i actually want to pursue, but I also get to escape all the drama from my family and "others". I'm pumped, it was perfect timing, so yeah, thats the great news in my life. The bad, well it's always hard when you get slammed by a women, it gets even worse when you rea...

Ah, how easy is it to avoid people on the internet. As soon as you see them sign on, you simply sign off, or better yet use a ghost program. The downfall to this is, they realize they are being avoided. So whats the point I'm wondering. Prolonging the uncomfortable feeling that makes you avoid someone in the first place. There is a difference between cutting all communications off, and just making sure that the person doesn't get a chance to speak to you, and I'm wondering what the point is. ...

I just found out the best way for a single guy to spend valentines day. That sickening day if red hearts, candly and watching the sickening display that the coupled people put on. I also found the one place where all of it seems to dissappear! I spent the day in a military office doing tests, mental and medical. The theme of the day wasn't love, it was hurry up and wait. I didn't even remember that it was valentines day until I got to my hotel, then I saw all the couples dissappear into their...

The quote on the back of my senior T-shirt reads, "come home bearing your shield, or on it" except that it was in latin. It was much cooler that way. If you don't quite get what that means, it's pretty much "do or die trying." It was the phrase that sent warriors into battle, to fight, and sometimes die with pride and honor. It was inspiration, but also a promise that nothing short of death itself could stop the men of the army. People protested in the streets when the soldiers loaded up...

For the past year or so things in my life have hit a steep decline. I don't feel any pity for myself, life happens to everyone, I just wonder if I'm making a choice that will further that decline or not. My parents decided to split, and, this is my fault on this, so did my grades. By the time senior year ended, my grades were terrible, as apposed to the 3.6 average that I had held to two years before. No A in the group, only a couple B's. I went of to college to get my dad off my back. I wasn...

I don't get it. It's two weeks away and already girls are chatting about it like christmas. I'm trying to go into hiding as the lace and big red hearts make their way into all the stores. What I'm wondering is why it's such a huge deal. Why are girls so worried about having a valentine or not, and why do they think they have a right to be desperate and picky. j/k, kinda. I can't see the point in picking a day that everyone who is anyone has to be with someone. It seems like an awful lo...