I guess it always comes down to this. Just sitting down and thinking about my past. The people I've loved and lost. It's been a great couple of years, and it's also been pretty rough. I just wonder how much I could have done differently. I've been in college, I've been in love, I've lost my mother (relationship, not death) I've gained something I've been after for 20 years. That one moment choked me up more than anything ever has. My father said he was proud of me, he said he admired ...

I'm in the United States Air Force, and I take my mission very seriously. I love my country, I serve it and I am willing to die for it. I do this because there are people that I couldn't stand to see get hurt. These people I protect, I realize they have different views, different lives and they might even believe what I do for them is wrong, but I still do it because that's my mission. What I can't understand is why you would go up to someone who is trying to protect you and say, "Why don...

Well, I might as well go in order that the title dictates. The good first: I finally got "the call". I get shipped out to basic training on Tuesday. Now some may see this as bad, but I'm estatic. I not only have a career that i actually want to pursue, but I also get to escape all the drama from my family and "others". I'm pumped, it was perfect timing, so yeah, thats the great news in my life. The bad, well it's always hard when you get slammed by a women, it gets even worse when you rea...

Ah, how easy is it to avoid people on the internet. As soon as you see them sign on, you simply sign off, or better yet use a ghost program. The downfall to this is, they realize they are being avoided. So whats the point I'm wondering. Prolonging the uncomfortable feeling that makes you avoid someone in the first place. There is a difference between cutting all communications off, and just making sure that the person doesn't get a chance to speak to you, and I'm wondering what the point is. ...

I just found out the best way for a single guy to spend valentines day. That sickening day if red hearts, candly and watching the sickening display that the coupled people put on. I also found the one place where all of it seems to dissappear! I spent the day in a military office doing tests, mental and medical. The theme of the day wasn't love, it was hurry up and wait. I didn't even remember that it was valentines day until I got to my hotel, then I saw all the couples dissappear into their...

The quote on the back of my senior T-shirt reads, "come home bearing your shield, or on it" except that it was in latin. It was much cooler that way. If you don't quite get what that means, it's pretty much "do or die trying." It was the phrase that sent warriors into battle, to fight, and sometimes die with pride and honor. It was inspiration, but also a promise that nothing short of death itself could stop the men of the army. People protested in the streets when the soldiers loaded up...

For the past year or so things in my life have hit a steep decline. I don't feel any pity for myself, life happens to everyone, I just wonder if I'm making a choice that will further that decline or not. My parents decided to split, and, this is my fault on this, so did my grades. By the time senior year ended, my grades were terrible, as apposed to the 3.6 average that I had held to two years before. No A in the group, only a couple B's. I went of to college to get my dad off my back. I wasn...

I don't get it. It's two weeks away and already girls are chatting about it like christmas. I'm trying to go into hiding as the lace and big red hearts make their way into all the stores. What I'm wondering is why it's such a huge deal. Why are girls so worried about having a valentine or not, and why do they think they have a right to be desperate and picky. j/k, kinda. I can't see the point in picking a day that everyone who is anyone has to be with someone. It seems like an awful lo...

Ever since I was a little kid, I had to have, "my special place". No one else knew where it was, it was mine alone. It was solitary, letting me think and reflect, and now I have to find a new one. I had two during highschool, the loft in my barn and a part of the roof that wasn't visible to the road or driveway. I could escape and think, but now I'm at a loss.Five acres of flat grass is alot different than ten acres of hills and trees. So I continue to search for somewhere to call my own. ...

Just in case anyone was wondering I did end up apologizing, not for what I said, but for how I said it. Everyone deserves to hear things in a fair way, and I did cross the line. Chalk one up for life experience.

I lost my cool the other day. I'm usually a really laid back guy, slow to anger and to speak, which is why this out burst surprised me. I just found out that I had been lied to. Not in the little way, but in that painful, grasping your stomach choking on words and furiously blinking way. I've been lied to before, call it a family tradition, but this just completely caught me off guard. Thats when the evil Tim popped his head up and let the world know. I'm ashamed that I let my aggression out ...

Thomas Moore wrote once, "No, there's nothing half so sweet in life, As young love's dream." I love this quote, it sums up love for me. Simple, unexpecting love. Innocent love, young love's dream. It is love for the sake of love itself, but how is a person supposed to know what real love is? When does the difference come between the unconditional love that a child gives, and the love that two adults give to one another? My friend Dan and I used to claim that we were, "in like" with girl...

When ever I was to be punished as a child my mother generally handled it, and by handling it, she smacked me to next week and back with a wooden spoon. I'm not mad about this, actually I'm grateful for it. When I got into real trouble, the famous phrase that held so much fear for me was unleashed, "just wait until your father gets home!" gasp! My father was a drill seargent in Korea, not during the Korean war, he's not that old yet. Very laid back most of time, but when he becom...

Ever watch the movie called "love actually"? It may be kind of a "chick-flick" but it's also one of my favorites. There are many different plots all tangled together, and yet seperate, just like we live our lives. My favorite is the best friends part in the story. It's actually a small part, but it's amazing. It starts off at his best friends wedding, where his friend is getting married to Kiera Knightly(lucky bastard). As they kiss and start walking out of the church, from ontop the balcony,...

yeah, so today I have seen my site like never before. I always signed in but typing the whole URL, but today I signed in through just joeuser. I feel ridiculis or course, but I the buttons to delete and edit just weren't there before. Wow, I feel foolish.