I can do the whole, I believe when I don't know for sure, but I can't do the whole, I don't know why I believe what I believe. Its all about the why, not the what. Faith is knowing why you believe in what you don't see. You can't simply believe because you just do, you have to understand why you believe what you just do. Why did I believe or not believe, that is what I needed to figure out. I came to realize I don’t need to know exactly what I’m supposed to believe in. I do need to know...

Over the past several weeks I have experienced crumbling in my foundation of belief. To put it simply almost everything in my life over the past four years has been a lie to keep people at a distance. I thought I knew that if they got too close they wouldn't like the real me and I would lose them. It hit me a short while ago that if i held friends at a distance there was really nothing to lose. so now I am rebuilding the foundation of my life and hoping that it will not crumble over on my head...