Why? What?

Reflections on renewed belief

Published on January 19, 2005 By ISOL In Religion

I can do the whole, I believe when I don't know for sure, but I can't do the whole, I don't know why I believe what I believe. Its all about the why, not the what. Faith is knowing why you believe in what you don't see. You can't simply believe because you just do, you have to understand why you believe what you just do. Why did I believe or not believe, that is what I needed to figure out.
I came to realize I don’t need to know exactly what I’m supposed to believe in. I do need to know, for myself, why I believe in the unbelievable. I lack something inside that I once thought I could fill by mind over matter, but that simply doesn’t work. There is a huge gap inside of me. It was carefully made by all the tools Satan could lay his hands upon. Some of them, my own doubts tucked away in the deepest corner of my heart. Some of them, people that came under the name of God and were deceivers. Some words meant in the best way, at the worst time possible. All have destroyed my faith because there was no foundation.
I believe because I have to. I cannot go on the way I am. I am sick, I am miserable and I am hurting so badly. I believe because if I don’t I’ll be swept away. I believe because you believe in me. Jesus believes in me because I believe in Him and I now realize I am the only one who will break the cycle. I have strength to go through each day, knowing it will be better than the last. I can’t understand while it took me so long to realize I was searching around the wrong end of faith but I figured it out. Jesus doesn’t expect me to follow blindly.
It’s a lot like a car. My parent’s understand that I really can’t grasp everything that goes on inside of, but they at least let me figure out how to drive safely before they set me loose. Faith isn’t blindly just charging through life without knowing why, its going through life not knowing exactly how things are working, but feeling assured that there is a reason for everything even if they can’t see or understand it.
The peace I feel right now because I have finally answered the question that I struggled with for over four years is amazing. I think that a whole new world will be open up to me, but the old world will struggle as it gets pushed aside. I am human, therefor inately evil and will sin my life away, but since I have good intentions my God will help me overcome that sinful nature. It may sound like the easy way out to some, but the struggles are painful enough to make the reward that much sweeter. The reward? I get to live!

In hopes that peace will be passed on
Yours sincerely, Tim Lyons

Comments

BobG

on Jan 19, 2005

Sounds like you need to start over again, and decide what you want to do. Over-analyzing never solved anything, and just causes headaches.
I say, lighten up, and try to simplify things; you're making it way to complicated. If a Stone Age person can figure out what they believe in, there is no reason a modern person should not be able to make a decision.

BrummyBoy

on Jan 20, 2005

I say, lighten up, and try to simplify things; you're making it way to complicated

Good point BobG. I believe that a child-like faith is all we need to understand the Truth. Regardless of our intellectual capacity, humble trust and childlike simplicity is all we need. Even though sometimes it's good to exercise the mind too, the heart is the most important part

getrealwithgod

on Jan 22, 2005

Before I could answer the why, I had to answer the what. I came to a place in my own life where I truly had to admit all the things I'd believed for so many years weren't having any effect on my own life @ all. I had to reexamine the What before I could get in touch with the why. I began to study the Bible incontext in dead earnest. I began to see something missing in my own christian experience. As I allowed God to lead me into what I believe, I began to have no real problems with why I believe. I believe because what I believe works. I learned to yield to the very real influence on the inside placed there through the new birth experience I went through 25 years ago. The apostle John referred to it as learning to walk in the light of God. God begins to reveal the true state of your life to you, & when you're really grieved by the things you see, God begins to show you gradually how to get your life back on track & focussed.
Wayne Freeman

ISOL

on Jan 22, 2005

I believe that a child-like faith is all we need to understand the Truth.

BrummyBoy I totaly agree that childlike faith is required to have a relationship with God. The point I am trying to make however is that I can't understand everything that God is doing and there for have to believe that the "what" will be taken care, but I can figure out why I, as an individual put my faith in the "what". I apologize that the artiicle was unclear on my definition of the "what". I define "what" as my mindset towards religion and and the events that shape the mindset, and the will of God which I know I will never undestand the full extent of. While there are individuals who can focus their religion of the "what", I know I need to focus myself on the "why" if I have any desire to gorw.

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