Teenage Angst+control freak parent= big trouble

Why do teens and adults clash so much?

Published on February 17, 2004 By ISOL In Home & Family

Why is it that parent's seem to be so power hungry. I know for a fact that both my parents went through very similar things when they were teens, though teens today have alot more stress without any doubt, but I often wonder what changed them. Whenever an injustice is done I think about how I'll never do that to my children because I want to end up nothing like what my parents are. Now the funny thing is I'm sure they said the same thing, so what changed their minds as to the decision that affect my life in a negetive fashion.
I am simply terrified at the fact that I may end up being the embarresment of my childs life and being considered a mortal foe. I don't consider my parents as my foes right now, but I do know they are childish in behavior. They are both under a great deal of stress, and the funny thing is I know exactly why and how I could solve it all. I long for one year when my parents and I could reverse rolse, they would realize how it felt to be under an authoritarian rule

I think no matter how inviting this sounds, it would turn out to be one of the worst years of my life. I know that in todays society I am being forced to grow up too quickly, and admit that i have a slight resentment towards the general area of adult hood. I also know that right now teenage angst is present in my life, though at a minimum because with all the responsibilities I have there is simply no time. That is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received, the ability to see without the angst tinting my vision. Id like to thank all the people in my life who showed me how much the world is worth, and all the good things that are almost hidden by the bad, that makes them all the more beautiful.
In the end I am not so angry at my parents, simply sad and a little disgusted, that they have grown up too much to see the finer things in life. Until recently it had been hard to see how great life really is, if you work at it, but you have to be able to have fun through even some of the cruddier times. Well even in the end the teenage angst seems to be about equal to the blindness of life that comes with age, and oh yeah........ my parents hope that someday I have a kid just like me.

Sincerely Your's in better humor, Tim Lyons

Comments

Larry Kuperman

on Feb 17, 2004

Tim, you write very well. This is a good article and I encourage you to have your parents read it. They should be very proud of you.

"though teens today have alot more stress without any doubt" Tim, how would you know? Stress is not just happenings in the environment, it is how you deal with them. Subjective, not objective. So, how do you know how your parents felt? Now don't take that question as a challenge, but a request for you to change perspective.

"blindness of life that comes with age" This was posted elsewhere here, but the consensus seems to be that knowledge doesn't equal wisdom, but knowledge plus experience does. The thing is that, as we get older we have tried more things, seen more things, etc. Sometimes the older generation gets impatient when we know (or think we know) the answer, forgetting that we had to find it out for ourselves. Experience teaches us all valuable lessons. The downside is that experience also says that nothing that didn't happen yesterday can happen today.

"in todays society I am being forced to grow up too quickly" The teen dilemma is that sometimes you are an adult and don't want anyone to tell you what to do and sometimes you are a kid and its just unfair to have all that responsibility.

Do you ever spend time with little kids? I encourage you to do that. You know more than they do, are more experienced. See if you don't feel that inner "control freak" coming out.

I'm a Dad (waves to son who is a Joeuser member) and I have been accused of being a contol freak. I would say that is sometimes true and other times...perhaps less true.

Peace and thanks again for the great post.

Dan Kaschel

on Feb 17, 2004

I sometimes wonder if everybody (within reasonable limits) doesn't feel nearly the exact same amount of stress. Perhaps problems are just subjective, and not having a toy is as stressful to a baby as a forty-year-old being shot at on the battle grounds.

Just a thought, not anything well considered.

~Dan

ISOL

on Feb 23, 2004

Thanks Larry for your insight into the world of growing up. Your article did change my perspective, but it did not change my oppinion. It is true that some people are more controlling than others by nature, and some people, like myself, are just so laid back we really don't care one way or another. When I'm around little kids, which I am very often because I have a little sister and am transporting her and her friends places and forced to babysit, and as long as they aren't hurting themselves or others I am very content to let them be. This may not be true for all people, but I am agreeing that sometimes I do overreact to my parents ruling.
When you said that experience plus knowledge equals wisdom, I couldn't agree more. It's true I may not have as much as experience as my seniors, but sometimes I am able to look at things in a way they can't.
All in all, I can see you have a firm grasp on the parent-teen role, which is rare these days and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Thank you for the comments and I promise I'll try to look at things from my parents point of view, who knows, it may actually work

Sincerely yours, Tim Lyons

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